Daddy's little girl
by Linneagb
Summary: Even though Remus Lupin could never remember the name of that second-year-student. He would never be able to forget the look on her face when she faced her worst demons. Set in poA
1. Fear

**The girl is portrayed by Carmen Blanchard**

 **Lupin's point of view**

I had decided to do the boggart class with all of the students. Seeming that anyone could teach the students one spell after the other, one of the things that could always help people was to face their own fears- their own demons. And while some might have almost called it abuse to make it- I did have an idea that after facing it once. Maybe it wouldn't scare them quite as much if they were ever faced with their biggest fear again- for real.

In the second year class there was one of these students that just kind of disappeared into the group. Always silent, shy and with that begging look in her eyes when she handed something in. As if she wanted nothing else than for me to tell her she had done it right.

But still, I could never have known that cold, rainy mid-October day. That while I could never remember the name of this young girl. I would never be able to forget the look in her eyes when she faced her fears… and honestly… I would have done anything to keep it from her.

When she stepped up towards the boggart Ginny Weasley was pale when she stepped forward towards the cupboard and her fingers were so tightly wrapped around her wand I could see also her knuckles had whitened. I couldn't help but frown and grip hard around my own wand in case I'd have to step in. But before I had the time to do anything else, the stuffed dog made out of a scary doll had turned into a black book.

Huh?

My grip around the wand loosened, this didn't even make sense. It couldn't anyway!

Suddenly the book flew open and from it rose shadows looking more and more like a young boy. He got clearer and clearer, but not long until he was a clear person and could step out of the book Ginny raised her wand and with mentioning the spell her voice wasn't more than a whimper.

"Riddikulus."

The boy disappeared, the book closed and on the cover appeared bright colors making it into a book full of funny stories and pranks instead of the dirty, black diary that had been there just a minute ago. And while Ginny Weasley- still pale as a sheet but looking kind of relieved stumbled towards the back of the line I still kept my eyes.

And since I only looked towards Ginny I never noticed another young girl stepping forward towards the boggart- or at least I didn't until the colorful book flew into the air and turned into a man, large grown, and with the exact same hair color as the girl in front of him.

The girl- whom I could never remember the name of was now also her pale as a sheet. And with her wand raised I could hear she tried to say the spell. But ending up with only weak stuttering that didn't get her to anything.

The young girl was breathing heavily as she backed away from the boggart man. Fear was shining from her eyes as she backed right into the person first in line after her. The boggart man came closer and closer to her and raised his hand, but before he had the time to step in or even say anything, the girl had dropped her wand, span around and sprinted out of the room.

 _Bang_

The boggart turned into a zombie

 _Bang_

It turned into a rat

 _Bang_

It turned into a clown

 _Bang_

Into a rat again

And without a word I opened the cupboard door with a silent spell, and the children couldn't help but laugh when I levitated the rat and made it fly into the cupboard before I sent it right into the cupboard. The door was thrown closed after it, and left nothing but silence before I could find the right words to say.

"Kids." My voice sounded weirdly distant when I bent down and picked the girl's wand up from the floor. "Class is over for today."

"But it's actually fifteen minutes left." I looked up and smiled towards the students- or did my best at least. Because in my mind that girl's expression when the boggart turned into a certain man played over and over again.

"Shush Collin." Another student scolded. "Then we'll just get a longer break." I did my best to smile again.

"Off you go."

 **Random fact**

I have been planning this story for aaaaages.


	2. Guilt

**I am so, so sorry I seemed to just fall off the face of the earth. I had different ideas for what could be going on with the girl, but couldn't decide on which one to use. And then at last something happened this Wednesday (it was nothing bad, and I'll put it in the bottom A/N) and it gave me the idea of how the story should go on- the story will be far more dramatic though.**

 **So… enjoy!**

I turned the wand a bit in between my fingers a few times. Then took it in a stern grip in my big hand and walked out of the room. It couldn't have been more than sixty seconds since that girl had run out of my classroom. And while I was trying to tell myself she couldn't have gotten that far, I knew that was a very- very naïve thought.

I smiled sadly when the thought of that old map I and my friends had made 'the marauder's map', and how easy it would have been to find her if… well, of course- that would have been if I could ever have remembered her name.

I pulled a deep sigh and stopped in the middle of a step- in the rush of the students coming for their breaks I would never be able to find her anyway. And with that I slowly walked through the crowds of students, I would have stopped to talk with a couple of them- but my mind was too far away to even see who was in front of me, and with that I walked back into the classroom and slumped down on a chair.

I moved the girl's wand from one hand to another for a bit and hearing the sound of the bogart trying to get out of the cupboard in the other end of the road. And the loud noises of the nobody- knows- what- it- looks- like- creature sent me into a state of so much guilt I wouldn't have known what to do with myself if it hadn't been interrupted.

How could I had ever thought the thing with the bogart was a good idea? I really didn't have anything to do with the students' fears or what they made from or against it. The thing I had considered quite an alright idea I couldn't see of much else than child abuse. And right then I could have fired myself if I didn't know I would be out of here at the end of the year anyway, since there seemed to be some curse over this job I must be and I might as well wait and see what happens. But no reason could be worse than this or…

"Professor Lupin…"

I looked up to the girl standing right there. And when my eyes met hers I was for such a split second met by such a strong wave of emotions I could have fallen off my chair. And while I was still moving the wand in my hand I couldn't think of handing it towards her- and that didn't seem to be on her mind neither actually. While she looked away with a shamed look in her eyes and fingered with her robes while her voice sounded only barely loud enough for me to hear.

"I'm sorry."

 **Random fact**

So, what happened to me? Hahaha, like I said- the story will make it far more dramatic than that but anyway, I like to volunteer at my church. And one of the things I'll be doing before a service when I'm there is to put up the stuff for the Holy Communion. And one of the things I will put up is a sort of tissue, for people that drink out of the cup instead of just dipping the bread in the wine like most people do. And then we use that tissue to wipe of the edge of the cup- not rocket science really. Anyways, I have forgotten to put that tissue up on the altar a couple of times, the first time the pastor managed to let me know during the beginning of the service so I could go and get one, and the second one the pastor went to get it himself, but the last time I was volunteering he never did and I didn't notice until I came up for the communion I had forgotten all about it. And it didn't really matter, but I was really tired and beating myself up for forgetting it and stuff. And I haven't been able to figure why but for some strange reason it made me really upset I had forgotten- like literally! I started crying! Now it mostly makes me laugh though.


	3. Insecurity

**Still told from Lupin's point of view. I'm not sure if you're going to see anything from the girl's pov or not. But it will show I guess…**

" _I'm sorry."_

"No. No…." I stuttered a bit. "Don't say you're sorry. You've got nothing to be sorry for. Here." I handed the girl her wand. "You dropped it before you ran out- now don't worry, I'm not going to give you any trouble for that. Only… Only… Who was the man that your Bogart turned into?"

I had a strange feeling about this. And with the exact color of hair of the man and the girl I also had some idea about who he would have been. And with that pictures filled my imagination… and let's just say that I hoped that I wasn't right and this girl wouldn't get hurt so much.

"My dad…"

 _Oh damn._

"It's not what you think. He's never hit me or anything. He'd never have done anything like that…. Do you want me to try again? Since I couldn't make it before."

"You don't have to. I'd never make you do anything like it if you don't feel comfortable doing it."

The girl nodded and leaned against the bench behind her. Thoughts seemed to be spinning in her head and I was in loss of what to do or say.

"I kind of want to..." I waited as patiently as I could while she hesitated. "But… I need to get to my… Professor Snape…" I nodded. "…And… lunch I guess."

The girl seemed so shy and insecure if she should or should not say anything. Wishes were filling up all in me that I wished that I would have known what to do or say as easily as it was to figure that she felt like trying again, but felt like she should rather get down for lunch and then to the dungeons. She fingered with the strap of her bag as if to lift it but still didn't move an inch from where she stood.

"Do you want me to get something down from the kitchen to just eat here and you can either try right afterwards or we can just talk a bit and you can come here again after your last class?"

"I don't want to be any trouble… neither for you, nor for them in the kitchen. They'll just love it if they get more work to do." I smirked a bit. "What do you think? Just say what you want to."

"…I kind of… I… I'd rather eat here… I think."

"Daisy." I said into the empty air. The girl raised an eyebrow but if she wanted to ask something she didn't have time before a house elf dressed in something that looked like a kitchen towel (at least clean unless many other elves)

"Yes sir?"

"Can you bring us something from the kitchen… Is there anything in certain you'd like?" I looked up at the girl from Daisy the house elf but she just stared at Daisy. "Well, some sandwiches or anything like that. Some pumpkin juice to drink and… well, you decide the rest?" Daisy disappeared again but the girl kept on staring at the spot Daisy had turned up and disappeared.

"Sorry." I caught her attention to get her attention back. "But I never remember your name. I'm guessing you…"

"Billie." She looked up at me and once again pulled into her shy self. "Billie Malaro."

"That is…"

Daisy turned up right in front of me again. This time with a giant plate of sandwiches and a can of pumpkin juice. Her sister Poppy was right behind with two glasses and a plate with chocolate biscuits.

Billie took a chicken sandwich and started breaking it into small pieces that she slowly put into her mouth. It all- including the chewing seemed to be happening mechanically. And when she kept on checking her watch and looking towards the cupboard still in the middle of the floor. At last I could do nothing else then to put down my sandwich.

"Are you ready to try again?" Billie jumped onto her feet right away and nodded. "You know you won't have to do this if you don't want to." Billie nodded, walked over to right in front of the cupboards and held up her wand. With a flick of my wand I opened the door to the wardrobe and the same man as before stepped out.

I forced myself to stay absolutely still. Which was more than one could say about the boggart man. He was walking towards Billie, with long, slow steps. Billie seemed smaller than ever when he reached her and she was shaking from head to toe- and I could hear her heavy breaths all the way here. Except it was interrupted when the man opened his mouth and almost as in slow motion with his hands gripping hard around her shoulders…

"YOU SUCK!"

 **Well, the girl's name is Billie. Lupin is trying to reach through her shell and figure what scares her the most. Which apparently is her dad but she tells Lupin her dad would never hurt her physically… huh? And that ending… Well, the next chapter will probably be the last and for that you'll have to wait and see.**

 **Billie is portrayed by Carmen Blanchard, and her dad by Jamie Bamber (can we just imagine that they've got the exact same hair color- they're a bit alike either way?)**

 **Random fact**

The plan with this story was from the start that Billie was abused or anything like that. But having already written a number of stories with that theme I wanted to try on something else. And so the idea came from the situation I told you about in the A/N in chapter two.


	4. Disappointment

**Billie POV**

The last day of my second year at Hogwarts I walked slowly through the corridors towards the defense against the dark arts classroom. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but it was made harder and harder for every breath I took. And I stared down into the floor not to let anyone see the tears burning in my eyes.

"You're disappearing."

The door to the classroom had barely closed behind me when I said it. Professor Lupin stood with his back against me and flinched when I started speaking. I probably should have apologized for making him flinch like that but right then the only thought in my head was what I just had said. And well… I guess everything that had led up to where we were today.

 **Flashback**

With the boggart of my dad standing right in front of me. That burning angry look in his eyes and clench shut jaw had me sinking down to my knees in that classroom. Everything felt so far away, as if I was seeing and hearing everything else from the other side of a wall. That dad's voice was the only one sound to break through.

"I never wanted a daughter. I just wanted your brothers. And after this I don't get how such a beautiful woman as your mum could have an as ugly child as you and…"

Professor Lupin must have stepped forward and forced the boggart back into the cupboard. Because suddenly everything was still and silent and I stared into the floor trying to shut out the sound of his voice playing over and over again in my head.

"Billie." Suddenly Professor Lupin's voice broke through my wall again and he kneeled in front of me. "If there is anyone talking to you like this then you need to tell someone else about it. Was that your dad?"

"Yes…" I was the worst liar ever and I knew it letting my voice heard only barely. "But… he doesn't say it anymore."

"What did you say? You need to speak louder."

"He can't say that anymore. He can't say anything… Because he's dead."

Still now, a year after that dreadful day the mention made a large lump rise in my throat. I swallowed it and wiped the few tears that had been rising in my eyes. Drew a deep breath and knew I had to say more.

"He was the best. Really. He would never have told me such things like he… that boggart told me now. I promise you. He'd never… I don't get why I'm being so afraid of it now."

"I think Billie…" Professor Lupin stood up and I slowly got up on shaky legs. "I think what you're afraid of…"

Neither Professor Lupin nor I could get time to say anything more than that. Suddenly the door to the classroom opened and students from sixth year class hurried into the classroom. I didn't catch more time to wonder about what to do, just quickly grabbed my bag and hurried in the other direction than the other students.

I didn't even know who it was talking to me. I didn't look up, but could still feel someone bump into me and then a word almost whispered into my ear. Because there was no way it was meant for anybody else than me.

"Mudblood."

I sniveled and hurried through the door. But barely noticed I made my own voice heard until I heard myself what I had said. Just concentrating on getting away on whoever it was talking to me.

"I never understood why I was sorted into Gryffindor."

 **End of flashback**

After that fall day with the boggart. I had barely spoken to Professor Lupin at all. I had walked into class, done my homework, passed him in the hallway and all of that. But not once had I looked him in the eyes. And he seemed to sense what I felt so he hadn't tried to talk to me neither.

Now Professor Lupin turned towards me when I had spoken. This time I looked him right into the eyes but it must have been at least a minute and a half before he spoke. At least I didn't speak a single word until he had, until he sat down on a chair and pointed to me to sit down on the desk next to him.

"I'm not disappearing. I'm still here for another few hours and then…"

"You're disappearing." I said again. "You're a werewolf and you're disappearing." Professor Lupin sighed and held up his hands to silent me.

"I can't deny I'm a werewolf." He said, as calmly it was almost annoying me. "But I will not disappear. You have Peyton… That's your owl's name isn't it?" It was true, but I didn't respond. "You have him… and if you just send me a letter and tell me to come then I will come wherever and whenever you are. I promise you- I will not disappear."

My hands were shaking as I pushed them down into my pockets. And there was so much I wanted to say. I had barely spoken to Professor Lupin all year, but that day we had talked and he was the only one that hadn't just asked about my brothers…

"I want to try again."

When I looked up on Professor Lupin I looked him right into the eyes. And saw that look of someone whom I just knew I could trust. And I wanted… I wanted to be good enough. I wanted to finish it just this one single thing.

"Do you still have that boggart?" Professor thought for a moment, as if he took a moment to hear what I had asked. "Because I want to try again."

"Are you sure? You don't…"

"I know I don't have to. I want to try again… Please let me try again."

Professor Lupin hesitated, then nodded and gestured towards a coffin by the wall. He walked over to it and made himself ready to open it while I got myself ready. None of us said a word at first, but I should have known he should.

"Billie." I was almost surprised I heard professor Lupin at all when he spoke because I held my wand in a tight grip and watched the lock on the cupboard focused when he spoke up. "I heard you… and if you remember, I know why you were sorted into Gryffindor."

"Wh- what?"

At first I barely knew what he meant. Then I remembered that someone (and it had happened about a million times more) calling me 'mudblood' and what I had said right afterwards. But still that 'what?' remained and what on earth?

Although before I had the time to say anything Professor Lupin spoke up. And every word he said was just so true.

"I have seen students afraid of large snakes, of clowns and of huge big spiders. Some of them have been more like you… and you're one of the bravest people I know because what you fear and it's every day… is that you can't be good enough. But still, ever day you get up there and face your demons and every day you do it again and again and again and that takes bravery. Not to never be afraid but to face your fears and conquer them."

I watched Professor Lupin for a couple of seconds. Only watched, there was nothing to be said. Although I knew every word he said was true while I also knew that only him being there had me less afraid while I turned to the large wooden box on the floor and Professor Lupin opened it with magic.

While my dad- or the boggart who took the shape of my dad stood up in it and walked closer I saw him open his mouth to say something. And in front of me I pictured the way he had used to be with all of his stupid jokes.

"Riddikulus."

Dad stopped for a single second and I felt my heart beating hard in my chest. What if I had done it all wrong and we would just have history repeating itself?

"What is it that moves forward and forward but never reaches its end?"

I smiled slightly and felt some of the fear only running off. It was just one of those stupid jokes my dad would have been able to pull what felt like every other minute. When he lived they would just be annoying, but only remembering the answer to it and speaking had me smiling when I spoke the silly answer.

"The time."

 **Billie is portrayed by Carmen Blanchard, and her dad by Jamie Bamber**

 **Random fact**

The reason why its never mentioned how Billie's dad died is because I couldn't think of one that would make sense with the story hahaha.

 **Bye bye**


End file.
